The fact is my life right now is too dependent on the bus. I am not sure about you but I have a bad habit of only recognizing the bus number but not the person who drives the bus.
Yeah, am talking about the bus driver. It seems like their existence is so… non exist as if the bus is already pro grammatically run on itself and is able to stop and go traveling one stop to another ’till I reach my destination.
With all the respect to all the bus drivers there, I think they are doing great jobs. I mean without them, I won’t be able to reach my office and church. But personally I think their job is the one that requires most repetitive tasks on daily basis. They have to drive through the same route everyday, check if the pay is correct or maybe the worst case got beaten just by staring at some gangster.
So as I was seating in a bus on the way back to my place, I was thinking how to make a bus driver less bored? So here are some of my pointers to all the bus drivers out there, whether it will be taken or not it doesn’t matter. I am just having fun by posting 😛
Here it goes
1. Bus driver is allowed to carry self-defense weapons
Passenger not having enough money to pay? Electrify them with electric shocker. This will saves your time arguing with them. Hence, hopefully if they recover hand out them to police and say “I shocked him ‘coz he ain’t paying enuf money”
Recommended tool
2. Have fun with the security camera
Related to first item, if becoming famous (or rather infamous) is your aim. Do select the best angle whenever you decided to poke those electric shocker to that poor naive teen who did not pay enough fare.
Make sure you do it in style, after all what really matters and brings all those good ratings in youtube video is the style and camera angle. So make sure you do it right!
3. Shout to the jaywalkers and cyclist
You are in rush for very limited precious lunch hour session with your kakis, and the not so uncommon things decided to appear in front of your bus. A jaywalker who definitely color blinded (can’t differentiate green and red) and bicyclist who still think that they don’t belong to the pavement and not in the road (poor them actually, it’s like being rejected everywhere).
So whenever you encounter these fellows, do the right thing. Speed up your bus, horn like there’s no tomorrow. And if this ain’t fun enough to you, swear in hokkiens or whatever language you prefer.
4. Give misleading direction to passenger asking for direction
“Is this bus going to Takashimaya?” This kinda question might be asked hundreds of times and most probably you are very irritated by this kinda question. So have fun, tell lies. Don’t worry if they get lost, after all she is going to shopping in takashimaya which means she has the money to get back to her destination when she found that she is lost, rite?
5. Speed like today is your last day on earth
You have the total full control of the bus. God Speed! If you do this be prepared that this might be your last day and just pray you won’t break any old auntie and granpa’s leg on the way.
6. Stop the bus as if it’s yours for 20 minutes because one teenage boy paid his fare 55 cent short
No other man can better explain how to do it other than this bus driver on youtube. Learn from him!
One Idea 2 Day 